Been a while since i saw this one… at least ten years, seeing as ten years ago i started studying Russian but this time i was surprised to hear T’Pau pronouncing Spock’s name as ‘Спох’ when speaking Vulcan.

All i really remembered about this was sexy pain-absorbing celibate bald punches-through-walls woman, Spock showing up late for the party, and V’Ger (which nerd rumour has it is directly related to the Borg.)
so basically i remembered ‘my favourite character’ and ‘the sexy bald woman’ and ‘robots’.
yeah so now we all know where my brain likes to focus.

– relatively spoiler-free notes below –

Sonek shows up
oh shit this is THAT film noooooooooooo

Drinking game: shot every time Decker gets screwed over.
or just chug. same effect. Decker is this film’s O’Brien.

IS THE CAPTAIN’S CHAIR THE ONLY ONE WITH SAFETY RESTRAINTS
kirk buckling himself in while half his crew is still standing
starfleet priorities yo
we only need seatbelts for the top 1% the rest of y’all just gotta pull yourself up by your anti-grav bootstraps.

when did captain’s ready rooms show up? seeing as there is apparently none on Enterprise. Unless it’s normal to bring your first officer down to your private quarters for a scolding. Which puts a whole new spin on ‘The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway’… well, okay, no it doesn’t.

why the hell is everyone acting like they expect spock to be all warm and friendly like OMG SPOCK WE’RE SO GLAD TO SEE YOU WHY AREN’T YOU GLAD TO SEE US YOU’RE ACTING LOGICAL WHAT HAPPENED
he’s vulcan that’s what happened
this is kind of his default mode
has been since the pilot episode
‘Spock, you haven’t changed a bit.’
THERE WE GO.

did spock just smash a keyboard in an attempt to keep the alien probe from getting classified information
did. did computers back in the 70s store all their files in the keyboard or something.

Decker: ‘hey i know Epsilon 9 was completely destroyed for just scanning this thing but let’s fire our phasers at it while we are literally inside it and have limited shield power that’ll totally work WHY DO YOU NOT AGREE, SPOCK, WHAT’S YOUR ANGLE HERE
yeah i don’t feel bad for him anymore.
his celibate ex shows up naked in the captain’s shower
oh-kay, now i kinda feel bad for him again.

someone with the time and ambition to write a philosophical dissertation on this film could probably get a small book out of V’Ger’s search for the Creator, compared/contrasted with Spock’s search for pure logic.

how the hell does anyone in the twenty-third century remember what NASA was doing three hundred years prior, literally the only reason i know about the Voyager program at all is because of this film and those probes were launched closer to three decades ago. Are future spacemen all trekkies? ‘VOYAGER SIX HOLY SHIT JUST LIKE IN THAT ONE MOVIE!’